Sunday, 4 August 2019

A few days off.

I switched my laptop off a couple of days ago because I realised that there was just too much drama coming at me from the internet. I wanted the mental quiet of just living in the moment. It's helped a lot and now I'm back but eager for another break.

The politics of our world and how it's turning friends against each other is just out of control. I lost a friendship of over 9 years because this person felt that her way was better than mine and that I was a cruel individual because I wouldn't adopt her lifestyle. She had been reading far too much by an online person of propaganda and instead of doing the research, she just reproduced his speeches parrot fashion! That was two years ago and it still smarts that people can be led so easily with a few fake photos and some strong, cleverly written phrases. I don't miss the friend, she was hard work!

This wasn't intended to be a rant, but instead a comment as to why I feel better taking a step back!

I've begun painting again and I'm loving it. I need to get back to being the authentic me that's gone missing lately. Dexter thought he would give me a hand and I shared the picture on FB and someone on my friends list contacted me.
 It would seem that there are two Dexters, almost identical in appearance, but not quite in nature!
 Our French Dexter is on the left and is so sweet and cuddly, English Dexter on the right is a bit of a pickle and only loves his mum when she's feeding him!!! Both are rescues! They now have their own Instagram account called dexterdeux :D

Merlin dog has settled so quickly and some of his fur is even growing back around his eyes. He's a happy, delightful little dog even though certain things trigger panic attacks and we're very careful to keep the atmosphere nice and calm. Not that he's calm, he skips around like a Tazmanian Devil, literally spinning on the spot, haha :D

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Time flies too fast!

It's been another month since my last post and I just don't know where the time is going.
I'll admit that I've been quite directionless of late, not being able to settle to anything and flitting constantly from one project to another. I think, if I'm really honest, I've been suffering from depression. It varies from mild to almost a deep black pit.

Since my son came back a few weeks ago, things have improved and I've been tackling some long neglected jobs, like my poor garden. The trouble is, I've overdone it again and now I feel worn out! This earnt me a thorough lecture from both son and partner so I sulked a bit but they are right!

My son helped me to build this arch for the beans, which are finally romping away since this photo. Nettle fertiliser and rain have heped.

 This was the state of the front garden which has been thoroughly neglected in favour of the potager! It took me the whole weekend in searing heat to clear it.
 I also built a low dry stone wall to stop the grass from encroaching again and it was good to find the original path below all the weeds! The rest of the garden is still overgrown, but the ponies will eat that down in no time!
So, today I'm feeling a little better, my lovely son has been so sweet and I'm being a little gentle with myuself. I have a craft group to go to this afternoon which will do me good. They're lovely ladies who just natter and paint or sew. It's good to be part of a group again.

Where I go next with my business plans though is anyones guess!

Sunday, 23 June 2019

Screw that!

Those last  posts have been real downers! I'm not going there again. It's late, I need my bed and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter and I'll have more positive things to share. It's not all bad at the Wildewood, just sometimes it feels that way.

Sorry guys.x

Edited to add: Feeling brighter already, lol!

Friday, 21 June 2019

a bit of an odd post!

This, I suppose is just a ramble through my thoughts at the moment. I've been thinking a lot about pets and their impact in our lives. When we lost Walley it was such a huge and sudden shock. He meant so much to all of us people and animals. I'm still grieving in a huge way and not a day goes by without a tear or two or more! I really thought that I could never have another dog but Manchee was so lost without his buddy and adopted brother. He was just so low and unhappy. The house was such a sad place to be.

I've come to the conclusion that there can be no rules and it's not fair for another person to say what's too soon and when the time is right to get another animal (or person in fact if that's the situation). There is no limit to grief and it is absolutely possible to love another while still grieving for the first. This is what I've found to be true for me.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this sad, skinny and wounded little dog on FB. I scrolled on by but a couple of days later a friend posted his story. His name caught my attention as I'm pretty superstitious about names. He'd been renamed Merlin. My lovely Eriskay is Merlin and we took him under our wing after a dodgy start in life. I read the story about this little chap and a seed began to grow. The following day, I clicked on his picture and re-read the story. I won't go into details but he was horribly wounded and beaten by his previous owners. His face will always bear the scars and so will his ears and what's left of his tail.

I mentioned it to T but he was less than enthusiastic, of course, Walley was his baby. I left it for a while, but the picture popped up on FB and Merlin was to go to an open adoption day. Suddenly I didn't want that to happen. It was a huge surprise to find out that he was in a foster home 15minutes away from us. This is rare as the dogs are featured from all over Brittany. We went to meet him and he hid the entire time. We went back a few days later and took Manchee to see if there was any hope. He attacked Manchee and bit him a couple of times. I was ready to give up, but T suggested one more meeting with the dogs on neutral ground. We went to the woods and Merlin went for Manchee again. Manchee is Mr Mellow in just about all circumstances however, he was ready and turned and growled full in Merlin's face. It was a huge turning point and Merlin suddenly had this whole hero worship thing going on.

So, to fast forward to today, Merlin has been living with us for two weeks! I can't believe he's been here so long!!! His personality has blossomed and he's so eager to please that a simple snap of the fingers will bring him up short. He adores Manchee and has begun to overcome his fear aggression with very quiet but persistant commands.

He and Manchee have suddenly in the last few days really bonded, although Manchee does still do a lot of eye rolling!
 Merlin is probably half Jack Russell and we're convinced the other half is whippet from his body shape and love of blankets :D
 Today they both got matching lurcher/whippet collars embossed with celtic designs. I think that means he's staying. He's certainly cheered up the household a lot.
 This week in honour of Walley, I had a star added to the top of my Elen tattoo, which I finally had finished. The footsteps and tiny stars are a symbol of the winding path we all take, never fully glimpsing beyond the next turn.
 Despite a really bad back, I spent some time tidying and planting Walley's little garden with wildflowers and forget-me-nots.
 I didn't want a stone marker as it just didn't suit his personality so I inlaid some stones and crystals into cement then decorated the spaces with swirls and a few hearts. It took me forever as I smoothed it all with a small paintbrush. It was worth it though as it's dried out perfectly <3

I suppose what this post is really all about is that it's possible to feel love in an injured heart and  maybe Merlin is bringing healing to us as he finds healing of his own  <3

Monday, 17 June 2019

Let down.

Oh dear! That's about all I can say about the market on Saturday :(

I set up with high hopes, it was a lovely place but the forecast wasn't great for the day. I was optimistic! Several monsoons later, I phoned my love and asked him to bring me a huge jumper and food supplies!
 The soaps were admired
 and I even took along a basket of tie dye baby grows and childrens tee shirts! No interest at all. I did sell a print and a couple of soaps which covered my costs but on the day I felt very negative. I had hurt my back and the cold made my muscles complain and I was close to ending the venture.

After a good nights sleep, a day of housework and an evening with friends helped to cheer me up. Now my perspective is restored I'm going to rethink my business plans.
I've begun sketching again, but this is for me, for now. I may start painting again, if I have the time!
Blodeuwedd, from the Mabinogion.


Sorry guys, I'm going to have to add a spam filter! I hate having to do that but some comments are just not welcome here!

Thursday, 13 June 2019

Bread and pizza

I love my new kitchen and baking here is just such a happy event. I don't cook every day because my lovely T likes to do most of the cooking. I tend to mostly do the baking.

 My shelves are groaning under the weight of Spices, jars of flour, surgar and lentils and of course many eggs :D
With all those eggs, I've become very adept at making quiche or flans depending on the filling.
 Bread is always on the go and I have another seeded loaf proving as I type.

A couple of times a month, Friday is pizza night, my favourite. On the left is T's rather sensible pizza while on the right we have my zen pizza (one with everything)!!!
 They were truly delicious and the point of making such big pizzas is that Saturday's lunch, or sometimes breakfast is left overs :D
I'm slowly starting to get my blog mojo back, so thank you everyone for dropping by, leaving a comment and writing such inspirational blogs <3

Monday, 10 June 2019

Bringing in the wild.

Rewilding - I've been trying to do this so much and for so long, it's almost become an obsession. But you know what? Taking care of our land doesn't just extend to what it can provide for us, but what we can provide for the land and our animals.
Over winter I left the vegetable beds to go dormant. The weather was so mild that everything just kept on growing, so I let it grow so that I could harvest the seeds. That didn't happen. We had mountains of flowers from the rocket and the kale and the bees had a huge harvest but everything just grew and grew. Now I'm sick of it all and want to plant our food for this year. I have little seedlings waiting to go in but nowhere to put them. What a mistake! I've been pulling out the plants, minus some of the seed heads and pods and feeding them to the ponies/horses. I checked first that none of it was dodgy for them to eat and they seem to have their own opinions on the matter in any case!

So while I drag our garden back up to scratch, I'm still making things out of wool and wood for the house, but not nearly enough as I'm just one person who functions at half the rate of a normal, healthy person.

Meanwhile my beloved is creating the Gite from our little Cidercott, that will generate a bit of income for us and I'm constantly in awe of his abilities. My main rule for the Gite is that it's refurbished with wood and tiles and is totally in keeping with our area which is largely a slate quarry! I'll be making the furnishings for inside and of course using my own soaps to promote my micro business.

Talking of furnishings, have any of you come across fusion quilts??? This is yet another rabbit hole I'm diving into. My golly do I love the combination of quilting and crochet!

This was found on Pinterest and I highly recommend you take a look :D

So for now, life goes on, ponies need attention and I have photos of soaps to edit. It's a very mixed and emotional bag in our corner of the world.

Thank you dear friends for your lovely comments, it means a great deal to know that I'm not just talking to the void.x

Sunday, 9 June 2019

A new start.

Oh May was a horrible month. I'm sure there were a few good days, but everything was overshadowed by the sudden death of our dear little Springer Walley. I can't say too much as I've cried so much and I don't want to start again.
We think he had a heart defect as he just died on a Sunday afternoon. He was only 6. We've been utterly heartbroken.

Somewhere during the month I launched my soap business at my first fair. I did ok and it was a big learning curve.

I have another booked for next week and hopefully I'll get more orders as I would prefer not to be setting this lot up every week. The stall was ok, but the gazeebo was a bugger, especially if I have to do that alone, eek!

That's all I have to say now, but I hope I can get back to blogging soon and back to whatever passes for normal in my weird little world <3

Sunday, 7 April 2019

What a week!

After feeling so great the week before, last week hit me like a ton of bricks! All was going well until a friend arrived to dig out our grey water system and as I helped sort things out, I knew I was pushing myself beyond a reasonable limit.
The friend left and I was left with my perma-garden looking like a battle field, complete with bomb craters and trenches! A long hot bath was needed, but first, the animals had to be fed.

It was still sunny, so I wasn't surprised to see Jerry having a lie down. The others took their places for dinner, but not Jerry! I was instantly alert and called T to give me a hand. Jerry is T's baby and he knew instantly that all was very wrong. He got Jerry to his feet and bless him, Jerry managed to come to me for a cuddle before collapsing again. We pulled him up and T walked him while I called a friend to call the vet. I know I could have managed it myself, if I'd had the time to work out what to say, but I didn't and my mind was shutting down!

We had to abandon the walking as Jerry was in such a bad way that we were worried he would collapse on the road. Luckily, I keep a little paddock seperate for emergencies and we put Jerry there. His buddy Toffee was beside himself with worry and when the vet arrived and began to treat Jerry, I was worried Toffee might have a heart attack he was getting so wild in his agitation.
9 years ago, I lost my wonderful horse Oliver in exactly the same way and he was Toffee's whole world as much as he was mine and I'm sure Toffee knew what was happening.

The vet gave Jerry very strong drugs, including morphine and thankfully, he stopped rolling, which is often the cause of a twisted gut, which is then fatal without surgery.  We sat with Jerry until he fell deeply asleep and then checked on him throughout the night. At midnight we were startled to find him quietly eating a little grass with Toffee nearby watching over the fence.

The next morning, he was well enough to go in with Toffee and eat some soaked hay. Toffee never left his side.

 Jerry (on the left) and Toffee.

Of course, after a weekend like that, I wasn't at all surprised to be hit by a big old fibro flare on Monday!!! It was a pretty wasted week!

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Glad to be home.

I was so happy to get home to my lovely animals. I'd missed the ponies sooo much and spent a wonderful day in the sun brushing and fussing them. During the winter, Maggie wears her mane in a long plait to stop it turning to dreadlocks. Brushed out it reaches her shoulder <3
Jerry is looking amazing as well considering that we nearly lost him the first winter due to the stress of the move, the awful weather and the others all stealing his food. Unfortunately Saturday night he went down with a terrible colic, but against all the odds, he pulled through and is now back to his normal cheeky self!
This is what happens when you decide to do some drawing in the house instead of the studio!!!
I was playing with ideas for my business logo but got bored and drew a stag! I am so out of practice!!!
I'll have more to say tomorrow, hopefully. I've overdone it this week and am in bed working on my business plans. I'm so tired that I just want to sleep! The cats think that's a great plan ;)

Friday, 29 March 2019

Stranded in England

Some of my posts maybe in all kinds of order as a lot has happened in the last few months and I'll tell you about them as and when I feel like talking about it all. Some things had quite an effect on me and my life, so I have to share them when I can.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was stranded in England! In February, we popped back to the UK for a big party for T and it was lovely seeing everyone but this happened!

I think it was probably one of the slowest crashes I've ever been involved in! It was in a car park and the person just kept driving, I had nowhere to go as he slowly crunched the front and side panel in!

So, anyhoo, he admitted full liability and his insurance company covered everything including a hire car. They said it would take three days. I came home, sorted out the animals and helped my son pack his things to move back to England. I booked the car in and expected to take my son back, have a couple of days with him and his sister, fill the car with tea and horse feed and return home to France.

Well, let me tell you dear friends, when an insurance company tells you something, check it with the garage as often they have no idea how the garage operates. So, long story short, I was stuck waiting for my poor little car to be fixed. I was lonely, homesick and although enjoying being with my children, dreading the day I would drive away again.

As it turned out, leaving them wasn't too awful, I survived, and they promise to visit in the summer.

Leaving Portsmouth easy, peasy. I can't stand city life or even rural life in England anymore!!!

 It was sooo windy on the ferry, but I had a lovely walk around the deck and just revelled in the feeling of going home.
 In my cabin, I had wine and a picnic. It was lovely :D
 St Malo was a welcome sight the next morning, it's a beautiful city and maybe one day I'll visit properly, instead of zooming through!
 My beautiful Manchee missed me sooo much. He followed me everywhere for the first day and just couldn't stop staring at me. He's still really cuddly nearly two weeks later. I do love this boy <3

I wasn't intending to tell the long and not very interesting story of being stuck in England, but I suppose I needed to get it out, like squeezing a boil. I still tear up when I think of my children, young adults starting their own life adventures and being stuck away from home and helpless really took it's toll on me. I haven't had black days like that since coming to France.

I'm home now and moving forwards, that's where I need to focus.  The Ormus continues to work and my morning routine of getting up early, doing my stretches and feeding the animals is still working for me. Even my Bursitis is easing and my pains are from working hard with soft, lazy muscles unacustomed to so much hard labour :D

Enjoy your day, friends.x